"Often it isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out,
it's the little pebble in your shoe" -- Muhammad Ali
The worst part about Mondays is that Monday is always Monday. Rarely, if ever, do people get excited to greet it when it arrives. It's usually hardest when you had a great weekend - but sometimes a bad or boring weekend can make the impending work week difficult to bear too. I'm not sure what gives this week, but I'm already over it.
I intended to wake up this morning at 4:45am. Yes, this is early... even for me. My intention, however, was to wake up early enough to do yoga and still get my morning mile in with my dog. As with most of my best intentions, I failed miserably. Despite setting several alarms, I finally got up in a panic around 5:30am. So much for yoga! I quickly gathered Diego's things, jumped in the car, and headed to the park. I usually order my morning coffee or tea from Starbucks as we head back to the car, and today was no exception. I arrived - and my order was never received. UGH. It shouldn't come as any surprise that I rolled into work about 20 minutes late... forgetting my workout shoes in my gym bag, and forgetting my morning snack at home.
I got home even later than I had expected. I picked up my dog, changed into shorts, and promptly crashed on the couch. When it came time for my evening walk with my neighbor, she had to wake me up. Ridiculous. We slowly did our evening walk, and I resigned myself back to my house even sleepier than when I left. When I finally called my mom to check in, I had no idea how to respond to her question about my day. My answer was... meh.
My tardiness notwithstanding, today wasn't a bad day. I didn't have too many meetings, and only one meeting was less efficient than I had hoped. We had a fun lunch to say goodbye to my intern, and I even got answers to emails that I sent on Friday. I didn't work out, but I still got some walking in. All that, and I still felt "meh" about my day. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It just... was.
Even though my workouts usually improve my mood, I've been fairly melancholy for the last few weeks for some reason. My weekend was uneventful and "boring," but I got to spend time talking to a few close friends and that was nice. My long run on Saturday was painful and hot (I need new shoes!), but my pace had improved since my last 6+ run in July. For every yin, there was a yang. Nothing was dreadful. What gives?
Even though my workout consistency has improved, and even though my run pacing is getting better, I feel very much like I've plateaued. I've racked my brain for the last hour trying to think about what's holding me back.
- Is it my diet? (Probably... there is definitely room for improvement!)
- Is it my shoes? (Maybe... my new ones should be here by Thursday!)
- Is it my energy, or lack thereof? (Could be... I'm always tired these days.)
- Is it boredom? (Meh... I like routine for exercise, so I don't think this is it... yet?)
- Is it my self-esteem? (Possibly... it's taken quite a few hits lately. Sigh.)
I've talked through the years about journaling, but I've not practiced it much lately. I recently read about "guided" journaling, and think I may try that for a few weeks. I have a lot of travel coming up in my schedule, and maybe one of those trips will be the reset that my body (and brain!) needs. Until then, I'm going to try to find that pebble in my shoe so that I can get it out and appreciate the journey instead. And if I can't find it? I need to find a way to tune it out, and focus on what I need to do to be successful in my fitness journey. Have you had this problem? How did you fix it? I may want to talk this out with you... If not, wish me luck!
Sleeplessly,
Becky
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