Occasionally... Insecure

"Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started."

-- Steve Prefontaine, running legend

Jambo! It's officially been a month since I made it to Stella Point on Mount Kilimanjaro, so I figured it's high time I update this blog accordingly. Yes, friends... I did make it to the "roof of Africa," albeit not as far as I had planned or hoped. I wrote several detailed blog posts about my adventure on my personal blog here and here, so I won't rehash that story again on this blog. What I will do, however, is use this as an opportunity to reflect on what actually happened on that mountain... and what I'm trying to learn from it. 

If you read those posts, you'll learn that I suffered from a few physical and mental setbacks during my hike in Tanzania. I only have myself to blame for the asthma attack on day one. I had studied the hiking itinerary religiously for the 8 months leading to our hike. I planned all of my practice hikes to best simulate the distances and elevation gains of each day, understanding that the altitude wouldn't match past Day 2. Day 1 was listed as an 11 km hike (~6.9 miles) with an elevation gain of ~3,900 feet. I did several similar hikes to prepare for this, and figured I'd be in good shape. I had hiked with a lot of the girls on my trip before, and knew my pace to be on par with them. And we'd be going "pole pole" (slowly), according to our guides. This should've been a piece of cake. 

Surprisingly, I rushed myself on this hike. I was never at the front, but I did try to keep a pace that was faster than one in which I could comfortably breathe. I also talked too much. I expected the stairs, but didn't expect them to impact my knee as badly as it did. When we finally stopped for a break,  I was in a full blown asthma attack - partially brought on by anxiety and partially brought on by the thick, humid air. My guide, Aboo, was very attentive. A fellow hiker sweetly offered to stay back with me and helped greatly too. But I was embarrassed. I had trained for this! I have lived with my heart and lung issues for over a decade, and I know how to control them. What was my problem? Why did I let this happen? And could I actually overcome this? I felt so defeated at the end of the day. 

The next morning, I was asked if I'd like to hike early with a guide and another hiker. I was embarrassed but I agreed. And although the other hiker decided to not join us, it ended up being a pretty terrific day. In fact, it was my favorite day on the mountain! My confidence, still shaky, was better and I started feeling more like myself again. I started to feel like I could actually summit this thing!

Over the course of the next three days, however, my emotions were in turmoil. I'd struggle on seemingly easy areas of the trail, and then speed right along on the trickier, rockier areas. For every confidence building moment, I'd have two or three that would knock me back down again. It was frustrating, humbling... and lonely. I spent so many hours awake at night fretting over how I could have done better during the day. I wanted to bond with the rest of the group, but found it difficult to do so. I didn't really get to hike with most of them, so it was hard to relate with their day. I really wanted to talk about what was happening with me, but it was hard to do that too. I finally broke down on summit night at dinner, crying at the table because I was so tired. That 5th day was rough for a variety of reasons, but the hardest on me was the lack of sleep. I forced myself to eat, and fell asleep at 8.

Summit night was the hardest thing I've ever done. They told me it would be. Because I was in the slow hiker group (a decision I was really struggling with the previous day), we were awakened at 11pm to begin our hike a little after midnight. I know I talked about this in my other post, so I won't belabor that event again here. What I will explain, however, are the reasons I ultimately decided to stop at Stella Point - a decision I do not regret, but still breaks my heart today. 

As I mentioned on my personal blog, I felt no effects of altitude sickness prior to summit night. In fact, my pulse, temperature, and blood oxygenation were better than most. I really thought I'd be able to make it up without any issues outside of exhaustion. I was wrong. I started having a really hard time breathing after about 3 hours. At some point, I started dragging my pole. My friend asked if I was ok, and I then realized I couldn't feel my arm. I could feel my hands and fingers... but my arm was limp. As I continued, I realized my leg was dragging too - I could feel it, but could not lift it. During our breaks that followed, both Nelson (my summit guide) and Teddy (my summit porter) took turns massaging my arm, but to no avail. By the time we got to the last scramble before summit, I had to rely on Teddy to physically lift the left side of my body to propel it forward. I blacked out completely at least twice before summit, Teddy catching me the last time. As we got higher, my nose began to bleed. I could feel my heart racing at some points - and periodically stop at others. Tachycardia is scary, y'all.

When we arrived at Stella Point, I collapsed on a rock and cried. My head hurt, my ribs ached, and my nose continued to bleed. My friend asked if I wanted to continue, and I responded in tears that I couldn't. I took several hits off my rescue inhaler, and attempted to defrost my hydration bladder. After a few minutes, I could feel my arm again. I asked my guide if he thought it was safe for me to see the glaciers, and he nodded that it would be ok. It was then that I noticed that I could see the Uhuru sign from this point. I gave it a quick thought, but ultimately decided that my symptoms were too scary to risk the additional hour and a half at that altitude. My guide nodded, helped me take a few more pictures, and we headed down. 

The descent back to base camp was grueling, but that was my fault. While my guide attempted to help me descend more quickly, I was so shaky and scared that I could only go down at my own pace. It took us forever - so long, in fact, that I had just laid down in my tent when we were called to lunch. The rest of my descent was equally slow... sometimes at my request, and other times at the request of the guide accompanying me. It was nice because I really got to know the two guides I hiked down with, but it did nothing to boost my confidence.

Several hikers from other tours congratulated me on my "summit." Yes, I still put that in quotes because it's still hard for me to accept. Still, their kind words helped a lot that day. And the kindness and congratulations from my fellow hikers and guides at the Mweka gate were equally uplifting. 

I said before that I don't regret my decision to turn around at the "the point of no return," aka Stella Point. And a month later, I still don't regret it. I went to the doctor after returning to California, and was advised that I likely suffered from hypoxia on the mountain. This caused acute kidney failure (the pain in my ribs I experienced) and likely caused the dizziness and numbness that I experienced. My blood pressure was also very, very low (and I say this as someone who reads an already low ~105/65). My doctor prescribed me a combination of diet and medication for both, telling me I was very lucky. I am... and I'm doing much better today. 

Despite all of this, I am still struggling with confidence following this experience. I haven't hiked since I returned to the states - partially because my doctor advised against it for two weeks, and partially because I am not sure I'm ready mentally. While I have been very proud of my accomplishments over the last couple of years, I can't help but be reminded that the last three major accomplishments all came with terrific setbacks as well. I got injured doing my runDisney challenge last November, had an anxiety attack doing Badly in May, and now all of this on Kilimanjaro. Perhaps I have tried to do too much too soon? Maybe I'm not training enough? Or training too much? Or maybe I'm looking at training wrong altogether? 

I have a lot to think about. In the meantime, I welcome your suggestions. And if you're in my neck of the woods and want to meet up for a hike, please let me know. I'd be so happy to have your company. 

Until next time... stay safe out there!

Becks 

NOTE: I have had several people tell me I should be proud of my Kilimanjaro summit... and I am! Please don't mistake this post as a petty pity post about not making it to Uhuru. I share this mostly so that others can be aware of what happened, and so that others who face similar setbacks don't think they're alone. I'm lucky to belong to a supportive hiking community where we celebrate each other's successes, both big and small. I mostly get words of encouragement and celebration, and I think that's really great! Still... I needed to get these words out and in the open. Like I said, I've struggled to talk about this as openly as I have here. It may take me a while to recover mentally... but I'm still stoked to have made it as high as I did! 

Self Care, What is That???

Hellooooooooo!  It's been a little while eh?

So, "occasionally fit" doesn't even begin to describe the lack of activity and dedicated crap eating that I've been up to.  Some of it was enjoyable, some of it, not so much, but it's time to get back on track.  At school we completed an activity where we were supposed to write a letter to our future selves to remind us that we should be engaging in self care.  Well, sure enought, that shit came in the mail over the weekend and I've been doing such a poor job at it that I didn't even want to open it up.  This letter was well timed though, because I had been thinking of how to do better.  Five days of 12-14 hour shifts will do that for you.

They always say that you should put on your own mask before you try to help someone else with theirs.  Nowhere is this procedure more absent than at the hospital.  I have frankly been alarmed at the way that some of the hospital PAs and nurses work.  No wonder healthcare workers are in such poor shape!  High stress plus mostly sedentary work and long hours is no bueno.  It didn't take me long to look at that set up and say "Oh hell no!"  These people truly care about their patients and want to do a good job, but I can see burn out on the horizon.  How do we avoid this?  The only thing that I can think of is mindfulness and meditation.  If we try to take care of everyone, we won't be able to take care of anyone.  This is true personally and professionally.



So today, eveyone take a deep breath, take a long break, and step away from the McDonalds!  It's easy, and comforting in the moment, I know.  It's not a good long term survival strategy, IJS.  Oh, and the letter that I didn't want to open says this:

"Remember to keep time for yourself and your family and remember what's truly important."

Apparently my 6 weeks ago self was a little more in touch with reality than I have been these days. Here's  hoping that we can all come back to the middle, at least once a day, to gather our thoughts and renew ourselves for the next one.

Um... hi?

Hello, friends! I say that knowing that most of you have already forgotten about this blog. I blogged a lot between November and May, but given where my heart and head were during that time, I decided to not publish any of them. Writing is, and always has been, therapeutic for me... so sometimes it ends up being just for me. I'm sorry about that.

So, you might be asking yourself - What's been going on with Becky and Natasha? Well, Natasha has been treading water while trying to manage school, motherhood, and clinicals on her road to becoming a Phsician Assistant. Becky, on the other hand, has been working, traveling, and training, training, TRAINING! What does this mean? Let me fill you in.

Since the Lumiere's Challenge debacle in November, I have taken a bit of a running hiatus. The Lumiere's Challenge was incredibly humbling for me, but I'm glad I experienced it. And, in hindsight, I'm really glad I finished it. Running is such a mental game, and I'm pretty proud that I didn't give up after my fall. I do apologize for never following up with a better review about that race - I'll try to rectify that sooner than later.

Although I swore off races in 2017, I have completed a couple of races since Lumiere. I did a half-marathon relay with Maggie in December called "Santa to the Sea" that I really enjoyed. This fun Christmas-themed race took us from the farmlands of Oxnard to the Pacific coast. The city really came out to show their appreciation for the runners, and I ranked it as my second favorite for all of 2016. And despite not training for it, I nearly PR'd racing it! I haven't committed yet to doing it in 2017, but I'm teetering :)

I completed another easy 5K in Culver City in February (the Screenland 5K). It was just too cute to pass up, and I was able to get the Awesome Anushika to complete it with me. This was such a fun race! I also tricked Anushika into a rainy warm-up on the Culver City Stairs, so that was fun! If they have this race again in 2018, I'm totally there.

The rest of this year has been filled with hiking! I had the opportunity to lead or co-lead my hiking group for three group hikes this year, including hikes at Wind Wolves Preserve, Mill Creek Trail, and the Westridge-Canyonback Trail. While I served as the sweep guide for Wind Wolves and Westridge-Canyonback, I had great fun leading the pack through the many water crossings of the Mill Creek Trail. Leading, instead of sweeping, was so encouraging. Perhaps I'm not as slow as I always claim to be?

Hiking through the springtime greens of Wind Wolves with GWHLA

Watching the back of the pack at Westridge-Canyonback 

Leading the girls through my favorite hike in Kern County - Mill Creek!

I have hiked at least once/week for the entirety of 2017 so far, and I have loved every single step. I grew up with parents love to hike and spend time outdoors, so I guess you could say it's in my blood. I didn't get to hike much after graduating college and starting my career, so I'm very grateful to have found a group that encourages and supports this hobby of mine. It has truly been transformative for me physically and mentally. And it has led to so many adventures! Below are some quick highlights:

Enjoyed a cloudy morning hike with my bubba on his birthday!

Managed to hike Wind Wolves 9 (!!!) times this spring, most solo. Loved it!

GWHLA Malibu Wine Hike

The first time I got to meet most of the other moderators, 

and I got to pet and feed zebras and a giraffe!

Early morning sunrise hikes with Diego at Hart Park were awesome in the spring!

Finished a solo hike with bub in Morro Bay. Beautiful (but hot!)

Faced my fears and tried bouldering at the REI Force of Nature event in May

Completed the Towsley Canyon hike with some of my favorite ladies! <3

Overcame fear and anxiety to summit Mt Baldy with the Climb for Heroes

(I raised over $300!)

Hiked Unal Peak in Sequoia with my bestie in May <3

High above the clouds on a 2-peak summit hike with GWHLA in June

Two days of hiking with some of my favorite kiddos in Colorado and New Mexico during the 4th

In addition to the above, I completed two Whole30 challenges (losing 30 lbs) and finished my annual "Streaking with the Cool Kids" run challenge in June (over 70 miles in June!). 

Man, I owe you guys soooooo many updates. I suck! I am counting down to Kilimanjaro, with less than 22 days to go until I board my plane due east to Africa. For the next 22 days, I have joined a 4 Week Shred that was developed by another Girls Who Hike member, Erika (aka @mysocaledlife). I finished Day 2 today, and it is a butt kicker! Thankfully, I am doing this with my friends, Sharron and Courtney, so hopefully that will keep me on top of it!

I'll try to remember to update this blog more often. No promises that it will get done before my African adventure, but I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, I hope each of you is happy, healthy, and safe! I have a lot of living and training to do this month, so wish me luck! I appreciate all of you!

Until next time...

Becks

Running on Empty (I finished Lumiere's Challenge!)

"Go all the way with it. Don't back off. For once, go all the goddam way with what matters."

--- Ernest Hemingway

Well, I did it. The race that I've been blogging about for seemingly forever is now done, and I finished it. And someday, I shall write about it in a way that will be enjoyable to read. Today is not that day. Today I write to express my frustration and whine about still existent pain. And while I'm immensely proud that I finished this race, I'm so sad about how it all turned out.

For those of you in the dark about what I'm talking about, the race I completed last week was called Lumiere's Challenge - a runDisney challenge race which requires participants to complete a 10K and a half marathon in the same weekend (Saturday for the 10K; Sunday for the half). When I signed up for this race in the spring, I thought it was a totally doable challenge. I had run one official half marathon, and completed two other half marathon distances for fun. I had several 5K and 10K races under my belt, and I still had 7 months to train. But things don't always go as I hope and plan for them to go... Training runs get missed; work pressures trump personal goals and personal matters trump everything in-between. Alas, I really gave my training 110% in the last three months, and felt confident about my races for the weeks leading up to race time.

Exactly a week before my race, I got sick. I kept trying to talk myself out of it (ha ha ha) but I was genuinely sick. I couldn't swallow, had difficulty breathing, and couldn't muster up the strength to run more than 3 miles. I had planned that week as a taper week so it really shouldn't have been the end of the world. In typical Becky fashion, however, I let my mind get the better of me and landed in Florida with none of the confidence that I left with in California. I was scared.

My final training run on Thursday went ok - it was hot and muggy in Bonita Springs, but my pacing was on-target. I felt good after my run, and my illness had completely left me. Still, I felt uneasy as I went out for my 10K on Saturday... smart enough to know not to push it, but fearful of going too easy. While my nerves made the first three miles a challenge, miles 4-6 were a breeze. I was perfectly on pace, took my time taking pictures with other runners and the scenery in Epcot, and even ran into a friend I made via Instagram around mile 5. I finished the race feeling pretty good, and a little less fearful of the half that was to follow. 

And then came race day...

Nothing seemed to go right leading up to my half marathon. I didn't sleep well at all the night before, slept in later than I liked the morning of, and hopped on a bus that went the totally wrong way to the starting line. I didn't take the time to eat or drink anything before jumping into my corral, and started off faster than I should have after the gun at the starting line. While the first mile went ok, the next mile was a struggle, and my nerves got the better of me and I had to stop to dry heave on the side of the road by mile 3. Once I collected myself, I felt better... and I finally found my groove around mile 4. Miles 4 and 5 went through Animal Kingdom - a beautiful park with more entertainment than I had seen all day. I felt confident as I waded through the crowd here, even passing the people I had been using as pacers up to that point. I grabbed water at the water stop, and I felt really good...

Until...

I'm not sure what happened. I may have tripped on the curb, but a fellow runner said it looked like I fainted. Regardless, I fell. AND I FELL HARD. When I finally snapped out of the haze I was in from falling, I discovered I had a shattered iPhone screen, a badly scraped and bruised left hand, a very swollen and badly bleeding right thumb, two skinned knees, ripped pants, a torn shirt, and a very sore foot. A fellow runner helped pick me up and tried his best to clean me up and keep me away from the crowd. I'm embarrassed to say I was hysterical. I really hope I said thank you (I'm pretty sure I did?), but I just wanted to crawl into that gutter and cry. He helped me for nearly a mile until we reached the medical tent where the volunteers were encouraging me to stop my race. This was near mile 7, meaning I was nearly 1/2 way through with the race. I thanked them but begged to continue... "Just let me see what I can do." 

The next three miles were a combination of ugly crying and limping. Those poor volunteers... every single one of them cringed as I approached for water or Powerade. I don't blame them. I looked more like a zombie from The Walking Dead than like the colorful, bubbly characters typically found in a runDisney race. The next medical tent was at mile 10. The bandages on both of my hands had fallen off by this point, blood smeared into my shirt as I held my thumb against it. I limped into that medical tent and asked if they could wrap my hands instead of slapping a bandaid on, and they complied. Again, they asked if I wanted a medical escort (they were concerned that my thumb was broken and I may have fractured my foot), but I again asked to continue. "I'll hate myself if I stop now."

Shortly after this point, we headed up a cloverleaf leading us on to the final stretch into Epcot. This cloverleaf is highly feared by runDisney regulars for some reason... I only found the banking to be challenging since my foot was hurt, but the elevation wasn't bad at all. As I crossed the road I had just passed, several people around me pointed out that the "balloon ladies" weren't far behind (these are the official race pacers, and are assumed to be the last people in every race before the sweep). There were about 30 people that I could see behind the balloon ladies, but I knew the buses were close by. As soon as I acknowledged that thought in my head, the buses and a police car pulled forward, collecting everyone blocked behind. It was so emotional watching this. Despite my good start and better corral, my injuries had me very close to being in those people's position. Sure, they'd still get their medal... but those in a challenge like me wouldn't get their challenge medal(s), and to be so close and not get to finish would have been heartbreaking!

I silently wept but picked up the pace after witnessing this. A much older lady encouraged me to run down the ramp with her, so I did. It hurt like hell, but I did. My foot was killing me, and I was starting to chaff where my pants and shirt had ripped. We went over one more small overpass before Epcot, and again this lady encouraged me to run down with her. I power walked through Epcot in tears. I couldn't believe I was actually going to finish this half marathon! I came around the last corner just before the finish line and was greeted by a joyous gospel choir. Something about seeing them glow in their warm yellow gowns and hearing them sing songs of praise lifted my spirits, and I started to cry with joy. I had less than a fifth of a mile to go, so I decided to run it. Every single step hurt, but I ran to that finish line. And then I cried again. 

I collected my three medals and headed to the bus. (I earned a medal for finishing the half, a medal for Lumiere's challenge, and a third medal for Coast-to-Coast for running two half marathons in two parks in one year.) I was exhausted, sweaty, dirty, and in tremendous pain. I wanted to celebrate, but I also just really wanted to go home. I threw the medals in my bag and limped my way to the bus. A couple of ladies got on the bus shortly after I did, and I heard one whisper to the other that it looked like I must have been swept. I kind of giggled at that... if they only knew! And I finished with them, not behind them!

It's been a week and a day since that race, and I'm still in a bit of pain. I went to the doctor last Tuesday and nothing was broken. My thumb wasn't as bad as it looked - a chunk of my thumb was torn off, my nail was bent in half, and I sprained it, but none of that requires a cast or surgery. My left hand has mostly healed. Both knees are still very bruised and very swollen, but the foot pain comes and goes. I'll walk ok for a while, but I end up limping by the end of the day. I'm the very definition of a hot mess, my friends! But I'll live. I did the elliptical for about 30 minutes tonight. It hurt, but it didn't kill me. I think I'll stick to yoga for the rest of this week, and try to get back at a normal workout routine next week. We'll see. 

On a somewhat funny note... I actually did try to look up pictures from both races on the runDisney page. My 10K pictures were all there, and weren't bad for the most part, but not a single picture of me exists from my half marathon. My guess is that Disney wants to pretend that their zombie racer never existed! LOL. I kind of wanted to see how bad I looked (based on the gasps I got from volunteers at water stations, I'm guessing I didn't look great), but I thought it was funny that Disney deleted them. Oh well!

Anyway, I really will try to do a better overall recap of both races with pictures later this week. I just needed to vent a little bit about this race since I'm still in pain from it. I'm very proud of myself for finishing this race, and am proud of the progress I've made in the last two years. I missed running, and while I doubt I'll ever be a real runner like I was in my 20s, I'm happy to be back at it again. It's never too late, and you're never too old, my friends. 

Until next time... Cheers!

Becks

Rocky Mountain High

"The choices we make lead up to actual experiences. 

It is one thing to decide to climb a mountain. It is quite another to be on top of it."

-- Herbert A Simon

Hello, friends! I'm fresh off a plane after spending the last four days with one of my best friends in Denver, CO. Denver was as beautiful as I remember it being in the fall, and I really enjoyed my visit. I did some walking with my bestie, some solo running, and a nice hike in Breckenridge on the Continental Divide before heading back to California today. (I really don't know how to relax on vacation! Ha!). 

You might have noticed that I threw in "some solo running" in that last paragraph. As you know, I've been training for the RunDisney Wine & Dine Half Marathon and 10K in November, so I was pretty determined to run at least a little while I was away. I tend to be an early riser, so I took advantage of same and squeezed in a run each morning while I was in town (my friend slept in). She lives near some beautiful trails, so I figured they would be the perfect substitute for my favorite trail at home.

If you didn't know, Denver sits at a little over a mile high with an average elevation of around 5,300'. I grew up in a small town that sits a little higher than Denver, and I ran in college in Albuquerque at roughly the same altitude. All that being said, I haven't lived at a high altitude since 2005. My current city (like the last three cities I lived in) sits at around sea level. I haven't done major cardio at a high altitude in a long time, and minor attempts at same (slow hikes; running last Thanksgiving at home; etc) have reminded me that I haven't acclimated to the higher altitude. Still... I decided to go for it  and planned my routes prior to arrival.

My first run wasn't fun. I took the running trail heading south on Saturday. I started my NikePlus app from my friend's apartment, approximately a quarter mile uphill from the trailhead. It's kind of sketchy getting to the trail as you have to cross a very busy street to get there. Once on the trail, however, it was smooth sailing! I felt pretty great until I started going uphill. At this point, I had to stop - my lungs were filling with liquid, and I found it very hard to breathe. I stupidly didn't bring my inhaler, so I had to focus on controlled breathing exercises to get everything back under control. Bah! Once my lungs calmed down, I walked the rest of the way back to her apartment. It was a low moment, y'all, and I felt like crap the rest of the day.

My second run went MUCH better. I started the second day run similarly to the first, only this time I headed north on the trailhead instead of south. I ran down the hill to the trailhead, but then decided to walk for about a mile to get my lungs in sync with my heart rate. I enjoyed it a lot - the trail is beautiful, and I used the time to call a friend back in California. At my turnaround point (I thought this was at 1.5 miles to make it 3 miles roundtrip, but I messed up), I hung up the phone and jogged back. The trail has a bunch of hills and stairs going back so my pace sucked, but it felt much better than Saturday's run. 

While I didn't hit the 3-4 miles I had planned on running on Sunday, I was pretty happy that I got my run in at all. The Becky of yore would never have had the motivation to hit the trail before her friends woke up. This Becky not only got up, but ran in high altitude! Woohoo! I was pumped for the rest of the day... so much, in fact, that I hiked another 2 miles on the Continental Divide (more on that in another post). It was a very productive day!

Alas, back to reality. My goal this week is to hit 45 minutes of treadmill running tomorrow and Thursday, another 3 mile run on Saturday (or 3 mile hike...), and an 8 miler on Sunday. We'll see how it goes. I have got to get my long runs in on time. I only have two more months until my RunDisney races!!!

Have a happy, healthy week, y'all!

--- Becky

Rocky Road (Hiking Pinnacles National Park)

"The desert sharpened the sweet ache of his longing,

amplified it,

gave it shape to it in sere geology and clean slant of light."

-- John Krakauer

Welcome back to the blog! Actually... This post is actually pretty overdue. I have been so focused on personal issues and Wine & Dine race training lately that I neglected to post about my hike earlier this summer at Pinnacles National Park. (I'd like to say that I was clever and decided to wait for the NPS Centennial to make this post, but I'm not that clever.) Pinnacles had never been on my radar before, and I wish I could take credit for wanting to go here. I let my niece choose at least two day trips that we would take on a weekend while she was here, however, and she was adamant about visiting Pinnacles. She had studied geology and volcanoes at school during the spring, and really wanted to check it out. Yes, the spires and caves at Pinnacles are remnants of multiple volcanoes that erupted over 23 million years ago. It's always pretty amazing to remember how old our earth is and how brief our visit is on this planet. 

There are over 30 miles of trails in Pinnacles Park, so we made sure to research ahead of time to pick the trail(s) that would be the best fit for us to do. Katie and I had recently hiked Vasquez Rocks with the Girls Who Hike LA, and that was a good measure of how strenuous of a hike she could take on without further training. We settled for the Moses Spring to Rim Trail Loop, a moderate hike around 2 miles long with about 500' of elevation gain. 

You gain about half of your elevation gain pretty quickly - gaining about 200' in the first quarter of a mile (according to my NikePlus app). This is part of the trail is well marked and shady - you're in a canyon for most of the first half of the hike to the reservoir. It was about 100 degrees the day we tackled this hike, so I appreciated the shaded trail immensely! 

We picked this trail mostly due to its level of difficulty, but were happy that it would also include some of the famous Pinnacles caves along the way. This was the first of three that we climbed through on our hike. The "caves" here are mostly old lava tubes, which just added to the appeal for my niece, Katie. 

To her disappointment, however, the trail to the Bear Gulch Cave was not accessible during our hike. It's apparently closed seasonally due to bats that are in having babies during the summer. Bummer! Alas, there was more to see so we continued.

The trail after the Bear Gulch Cave trail split becomes much more of a climb than a hike. The trail isn't as well marked here, and you literally have to climb over and/or jump down from various rocks, cliffs, and trees to proceed. It's a lot of fun, but keep that in mind if you have any type of disability.

As you finally make your way out of the canyon, you go down through another cave. This one is marked a little more clearly, and has makeshift stairs taking you down. My niece and I are short, but I feel bad for anyone tall that has to crawl through here! It's a pretty tight fit. 

The final leg before the reservoir includes about 100 stairs. I wish this picture did these stairs justice - they're very narrow,  steep, hand-chiseled stairs. This makes them a bit interesting (and unstable) to climb, but it's doable. The railing on the left is very necessary, as it's a near vertical drop off the side of them. My niece and I were surprisingly unafraid of these stairs anyway, and kind of enjoyed the view. 

You reach the Bear Gulch Reservoir at the top of the stairs. The view is incredible! Despite passing several hikers along the way, we found ourselves alone up here. It was peaceful, and I really wanted to spend more time there. 

The sun was quickly chasing us down, however, so we had to make up our minds on the route going back to the car. Despite the late hour, we opted to tackle a portion of the High Peaks trail to see how much we could get done before sunset. I'm so glad that we did - the views were incredible!

We really took our time enjoying the view of the spires as we made our ascension to towards the summit. THIS is what Kaitlyn was wanting to see! I enjoyed it too - I think it was around the time that I took this picture that I thanked Kaitlyn for asking to go here :)

While the sun was quickly setting and we didn't want to get caught in the dark, we decided to continue up the mountain. The trail becomes very steep as you near the summit. Kaitlyn predictably rolled her ankle around this point, and we decided that we would only go another 15 minutes before turning around. (Poor Katie! I need to buy this girl some boots next summer!)

From this point, the summit is in sight. We could see people at the top of the mountain, and wanted so badly to continue. But appearances are deceiving... As we neared the top of this trail, I realized that the trail turns into many, many switchbacks as it continues up the mountain. We both so badly wanted to reach the top, but her ankle was throbbing and I started to fear the impending night.

We decided to sit for a while and just take in the view. We hiked for just over 2.61 miles and gained around 900 feet in elevation. It was a remarkable feat for my niece, who rarely gets the opportunity to hike like we did that day. It was also a wonderful opportunity for me as I got to share my love for hiking and the outdoors with a young lady who means the world to me!

If you're ever looking for a good hike, I would definitely give Pinnacles National Park a chance. It's not terribly far from Monterey or Paso Robles, so you could easily add it in to a day trip if you're visiting either area. I have already put it on my list to visit again in the spring when the wildflowers are blooming. :) 

Back to our regularly scheduled running programming beginning tomorrow. I finished 7.5 miles today at just nary over my goal race pace time, so I was pretty happy with that today. I can only go up from here! Big shout out to my co-blogger, Natasha, who finished the Summer Sparkler Virtual 10K today! (You can see her race picture on Instagram). It's been a great weekend, my friends!

Until we meet again...

--- Becky

Zonked

"You've got to know when to hold 'em

Know when to fold 'em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run." 

-- The Gambler

Hellooooooo friends! This weary little friend of yours just returned from a whirlwind visit home over the weekend. I visited both places I refer to as "home" during this visit - Albuquerque and the Four Corners area. I left on Friday, and just returned this afternoon. And I'm E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D! Frankly, I think I might be sick. I'm really hoping that it's just this crappy air quality we have here in "beautiful" southern California, but man, I feel like crap. I actually didn't feel awesome while I was home - as you can see in the picture above, I was quite the swollen, sneezy mess. 

While I had every intention on running while I was home, I never got around to it. My friend, Miranda, even brought her running shoes to run with me on Saturday... but we opted for breakfast burritos and a split cinnamon roll from Frontier instead. We were up late-ish and I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me! Running aside, my vacation was anything but lazy. My mom and my sister and her kids went for a long walk at the park after the movies on Saturday, and I did a lot of walking during our trip to Rico/Telluride on Sunday. I haven't lived in the area in eleven years, though, and the altitude (and allergies) definitely got to me. Plus, I drove approximately 4 hours on Saturday, 8 hours on Sunday, and another 6 hours today. I'm pooped!

I should run tomorrow, but I think I'm going to give my body one more day to recoup. I always push too hard, and end up getting myself either injured or sick. I'll do my morning yoga and my morning/evening walks, but I think that'll have to do for tomorrow. Sometimes, you just gotta know when to let your body rest for a while, you know?

This trip, like many I've taken recently, was very eye-opening. It's hard not to think about life and your place in it when you're driving for hours and hours and hours by yourself (see what y'all get for not answering the phone?). But just as the lyrics above are relevant to running ("know when to hold them"), I think there are some other areas in my life that I need to let go too ("know when to fold them"). I often hold on to things/people longer than I should, and I also always give people too much credit when they aren't really acting like the friend I thought they were or that I needed. So, like any great gambler, I'm going to take these learnings and "know when to walk away," and close that chapter (or those chapters). It's never going to be what I want it to be, and I'm not willing to take the leap of faith to find out anyway. When I feel better later in the week, I'm going to "know when to run" in the literal sense... as a way of helping me cope with what I need to let go of so I can move on with my life. I've been stuck on a couple of things for longer than I should have been. (Word games are fun! And sorry this is so vague.)

Anyway, I'm sleepy, hungry, and not feeling great so I'm going to end this one here. While this probably reads as an excuse for why I didn't run this weekend and won't be running tomorrow, I hope you'll cut me some slack. I hope that I will cut me some slack too. Pushing yourself is great sometimes, but sometimes you gotta recognize when rest is more important too. 

I hope that you have a great week. For those friends who are training for Wine and Dine with me... wish me luck! My training isn't going as amazingly as hoped, but I hope to be back up and "running" with y'all soon! (Haha... I'm such a dork.). 

Until we meet again...

--- Becky

Princess and the Pea

"Often it isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out, 

it's the little pebble in your shoe" -- Muhammad Ali

The worst part about Mondays is that Monday is always Monday. Rarely, if ever, do people get excited to greet it when it arrives. It's usually hardest when you had a great weekend - but sometimes a bad or boring weekend can make the impending work week difficult to bear too. I'm not sure what gives this week, but I'm already over it.

I intended to wake up this morning at 4:45am. Yes, this is early... even for me. My intention, however, was to wake up early enough to do yoga and still get my morning mile in with my dog. As with most of my best intentions, I failed miserably. Despite setting several alarms, I finally got up in a panic around 5:30am. So much for yoga! I quickly gathered Diego's things, jumped in the car, and headed to the park. I usually order my morning coffee or tea from Starbucks as we head back to the car, and today was no exception. I arrived - and my order was never received. UGH. It shouldn't come as any surprise that I rolled into work about 20 minutes late... forgetting my workout shoes in my gym bag, and forgetting my morning snack at home. 

I got home even later than I had expected. I picked up my dog, changed into shorts, and promptly crashed on the couch. When it came time for my evening walk with my neighbor, she had to wake me up. Ridiculous. We slowly did our evening walk, and I resigned myself back to my house even sleepier than when I left. When I finally called my mom to check in, I had no idea how to respond to her question about my day. My answer was... meh. 

My tardiness notwithstanding, today wasn't a bad day. I didn't have too many meetings, and only one meeting was less efficient than I had hoped. We had a fun lunch to say goodbye to my intern, and I even got answers to emails that I sent on Friday. I didn't work out, but I still got some walking in. All that, and I still felt "meh" about my day. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It just... was. 

Even though my workouts usually improve my mood, I've been fairly melancholy for the last few weeks for some reason. My weekend was uneventful and "boring," but I got to spend time talking to a few close friends and that was nice. My long run on Saturday was painful and hot (I need new shoes!), but my pace had improved since my last 6+ run in July. For every yin, there was a yang. Nothing was dreadful. What gives?

Even though my workout consistency has improved, and even though my run pacing is getting better, I feel very much like I've plateaued. I've racked my brain for the last hour trying to think about what's holding me back. 

• Is it my diet? (Probably... there is definitely room for improvement!)
• Is it my shoes? (Maybe... my new ones should be here by Thursday!)
• Is it my energy, or lack thereof? (Could be... I'm always tired these days.)
• Is it boredom? (Meh... I like routine for exercise, so I don't think this is it... yet?)
• Is it my self-esteem? (Possibly... it's taken quite a few hits lately. Sigh.)

I've talked through the years about journaling, but I've not practiced it much lately. I recently read about "guided" journaling, and think I may try that for a few weeks. I have a lot of travel coming up in my schedule, and maybe one of those trips will be the reset that my body (and brain!) needs. Until then, I'm going to try to find that pebble in my shoe so that I can get it out and appreciate the journey instead. And if I can't find it? I need to find a way to tune it out, and focus on what I need to do to be successful in my fitness journey. Have you had this problem? How did you fix it? I may want to talk this out with you... If not, wish me luck!

Sleeplessly,

Becky

Moon Rocks (Visiting Vasquez Rocks)

"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, 

bearing within him the image of a cathedral." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

If I can't make exercise fun, I won't do it. Well, I will do it... but I might not enjoy it. That's not to say that I don't enjoy traditional forms of exercise - I love yoga and weight lifting, and enjoy running (when I have a goal in mind). Aerobics classes, pilates, zumba, etc, however, have no appeal to me. And let's not even talk about sports... I don't think I could be an athlete if I tried. So what's a girl to do? Hike!

Lucky for me, my niece loves hiking as much as I do! She and I planned to do several hikes while she visited this summer, and we really got excited when the Girls Who Hike LA event at Vasquez Rocks was scheduled. I knew we both would enjoy it - the rocks and desert-like landscape is reminiscent of the places back home I like to hike, and would be more familiar to Katie too. Plus, Vasquez Rocks Park is a filming location, so you know this movie fangirl just had to visit it one of these days!

The Girls Who Hike LA event was loosely based on the same loop described by Modern Hiker on his post here. The trail we actually took is located on AllTrails, although I still haven't figured out how to read their trails other than via GPS. I was excited to take this particular loop, however, because it included a brief stint on the Pacific Crest Trail. The Pacific Crest Trail is a 2,600+ mile trail that runs from the Mexican/California border all the way to the US/Canada border in British Colombia. While mentioned often in literature, it's probably most famous for being the trail that Cheryl Strayed took in her autobiography, Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail.

I trusted that Kaitlyn would be up for the hike when I researched the trail before our adventure - the trail that Sharron planned covered a little under 5 miles total, and less than 1,000' foot elevation gain. I also figured that we were well prepared because I had been taking Kaitlyn with me for nightly 2-3 mile walks in the park after work every day. I knew it was going to be a hot one, so I made sure we had plenty of water for our hike too.

The hike was relatively easy/flat for the first mile or so. We could view the famous rocks throughout that first mile, and only saw one PCT hiker on the trail as we made our way out. We had a fairly steep-ish descent as we made our way down to the PCT junction, heading south towards the tunnel to experience that stretch of the infamous trail. This area was fairly rugged and overgrown, features that I really enjoy when I hike in the desert. Rocks, fossils, and other sediment were exposed in the sandstone, making for fun conversation between my niece and me.

After a brief break at the tunnel, we headed back the way we came and started our climb to the tops of the surrounding rocks of the park. This is where things started getting hairy for the less adventurous/experienced of our group. The only child on the trip fell during this portion of the trail, and my niece rolled her ankle shortly thereafter. I was glad to see I wasn't the only one breathing heavily during this portion of the trail, but a noticeable gap between the front of the pack and the back was starting to form. 

Somewhere around the famous rocks themselves, the front of the group left the back of the pack. It was better for all sides. As a back of the packer, I could sense the relief. The front group was more physically prepared for this hike, and I was worried about my niece and wanted to slow down too. Once the gap was realized, I noticed that we weren't alone in taking our time, taking pictures, and enjoying the stunning sky. Our back of the pack was around 1/4 of the total group, all determined to still enjoy the hike and fellowship with each other.

As we made our way back to the valley floor, however, some bit of panic set in. The path was not as obvious at the bottom as it was up top. Several of us tried to map the trail to see if we were still heading in the right direction. Two of the girls were very close to giving up. One girl sat down. We shouldn't have feared - our back of the pack leader was tremendous! She kept everyone calm, and cheered the group on to finish the hike back to our vehicles. (If you're reading this, Angela - THANK YOU!)

The temperature in my car read a very hot 95 degrees by the time we returned to it. My niece was hot, sore, and in pain, and as much as I wanted to join the girls for lunch, I knew it was best if we just headed back home. After the initial soreness died down, Kaitlyn and I talked about the hike. She actually really liked it! She was just woefully ill-prepared. That's my fault - I'm sorry Katie. (At least this experience helped me prepare for our much more strenuous hike at Pinnacles a few weeks later!)

As for me, this is a hike I really want to tackle again when it gets cooler in the fall. My hope is that the Sand Fire didn't destroy it - I'll have to do some research and see. This hike reminded me a lot of hiking back home, and that made me very happy. I'm not so sure that the giant group hikes are quite my speed, but it was fun meeting some of the other girls from GWHLA. I look forward to seeing them at the networking event in October. But for now... small group hikes are the hikes for me!

Take charge this week!

--- Becky

Live in the Los Angeles area (or visit often)? Like to hike? Consider joining us at GirlsWhoHikeLA.com. Our website links to our blog, which includes hiking trail reviews, gear reviews, and more. Want to join our hikes? Informal meet-ups happen all the time and group hikes happen once a month. You can only get that info by joining our closed Facebook page. Our founder updates our Instagram regularly too - be sure to check it out!