The Whole What?

*Please be advised that this post includes references to poop.  Reader discretion advised.

I'm sure that you've heard of this madness called the Whole 30 by now.  The basic premise is that everything that you are eating is making you sick and you need to stop.  When I first heard about this I wasn't particularly interested in eliminating anything from my diet.  My diet was pretty solid until about Halloween, but it's been going downhill pretty steadily since then.  I think I've officially hit rock bottom (see illustration below).  It's true that I've never met a cake, pie, cookie or doughnut that I didn't like.  However, I've just been feeling sick lately.

Fortunately, I don't live in SoCal or Hollywood and no one is looking at my beach body on a regular basis. Even if they were, I've developed the "if you don't like it, don't look at it" attitude with regards to my figure (ah, the blessings of growing older).  I just don't feel good, and something has to give.  When I say I don't feel good, I am talking about being tired ALL THE TIME for no reason.  They say to nap when the baby is napping.  I still do that and my baby is almost 3!  That's two hours that I could be spending binge-watching Hulu or doing laundry ( probably Hulu).  I crave sugar all the time, all day long and I'm grouchy without my morning coffee or Big Gulp.

Also, why is my bra so tight?  Is the dryer shrinking my pants?  Oops!  Lately, I've been afraid to look down.  I've been wearing hoodies and big shirts because I'm afraid to look at and confront whatever lies beneath!  Let's not forget the adult acne issue.  Junk food equals no poop!  Anything that stops traffic in your colon for 4-7 days at a time can't be good for you.  We need roughage!  Fun times all around, I know.

These are all of the reasons that I'm giving Whole 30 a try.  I was thinking about trying the whole moderation thing, but I'm just not good with moderation.  I'm an all or nothing kind of gal.  I almost forgot about the kiddies.  They want to eat sugar all day every day too and that's probably my fault.  My gothic adventure starts today.  I'm going to try to remember why I started and what could possibly be gained.  I can't promise that I'll last 30 days, or even until lunch time, but here's hoping!

For more information, you can visit their website:  http://whole30.com/whole30-program-rules/.

Natasha

Occasionally... Fat (Adventures in Dieting)

"I feel that you need to know... Your good friend, Miranda Hobbes, has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic" 

-- Miranda, Sex and the City

For the record, I have a love-hate affair with food. I love it, but I kind of hate how much I love it. When we were growing up, all of my social interactions centered on food. My parents didn't have much when I was growing up so anytime they had a little extra, we were "treated" with food. Whether it was Friday night (payday) pizza, or a Hershey bar surprise from my dad... we celebrated everything with food! I distinctly remember the day that my mother had my brother... because that was the same day that my sister and I were allowed to have our own happy meals (we usually shared). Seriously? The birth of one of my favorite people is memorable because of... a happy meal! (I even remember the "toy" - a toothbrush, of all things. Ha!)

Anyway, it should come as no surprise to anyone that my love-hate affair with food has led to a roller coaster of weight loss and weight gain. I was fairly average most of my childhood until my senior year, when I decided to try the Freshman 15 out a little early. Strangely, I lost 30 pounds my first semester in college (mostly due to a combination of the absence of my mother's delicious New Mexican cooking and good ol' college poverty). When I took a nutrition class the next semester, a slight obsession with food began.

Between my the fall of my first year of college and the fall of my second, I lost just over forty pounds. I was easily the smallest I had ever been... and quite enjoyed it too! I was also very active - I ran twice a day, and went to the gym at least an hour every other day. Unfortunately, I didn't learn what I should have from that nutrition class: I learned that dieting is calories in vs calories out, and that to lose a pound you had to consume 1,500 calories less. What I didn't learn or comprehend, however, was that these were net calories. I restricted my diet again and again until I was down to roughly 900 calories a day - a feat that I was stupidly proud of, despite my workout routine and full time job. I should have known that working out more means that I should eat more, but I was careless (and obsessive). It took fainting on a treadmill to give me a wakeup call, but I still didn't learn. 

Since that fateful fall on the treadmill, I haven't quite figured out the whole diet thing. I had several ups and downs throughout my twenties, and went into a full-fledged free fall after 28. My weight ballooned after having to do steroid therapy for my pneumonia, and I never quite seemed to get rid of it. Add two more years of steroid therapy after that, and you have where I was about a year ago - fluffy, tired, and constantly sick.

For the last year and a half, I've been on a much better trend. I workout more often, and I definitely trend toward more healthy choices overall. Well, I was trending that way... In November, I really started ramping up my runs in preparation for my half marathon. As any runner will tell you, running is a terrible way to lose weight. You're hungry... ALL - THE - TIME! The weight on the scale didn't move much, however, and I was ok with that. I kept telling myself that as long as I wasn't gaining weight that it would be ok, and I could get back on track once I started tapering.

Well, we're now at the end of March, and guess what? I'm sooooo off track. I haven't ran much, I'm not working out as much, but I'm still eating like I did during the height of my half marathon training! And my sweet tooth has gone insane! Saturday was a bit of a wakeup call. We went out for a pancakes after my 5k race, then I had a strawberry and kale grilled chicken salad for lunch, we treated ourselves to an afternoon cupcake, and I had a giant burrito for dinner. Oh, and did I mention that I at about 3 cups of popcorn? By 9pm, I felt bloated and exhausted. Why was I eating so much? And how can I make it stop?

My friend told me today that his diet was horrible this weekend. Friends - my Saturday glutton-fest made his cheeseburger and fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner look nearly healthy by comparison! I know that this is wrong, so I'm going to actively work to stop it. Despite my younger mistakes, I have done a TON of research on healthy diet and nutrition since then. I know what I should and shouldn't eat, and I know that I can control it. I went and bought much healthier groceries tonight after work, and I'm going to endeavor to stick to what I purchased this week (except for lunch... I have too many plans to take my lunch to work, but I can pick healthier options!). Wish me luck!

In the meantime, I'm going to try to stick to a modified diet and slowly go back to healthier eating. I know I can't go to an all-or-nothing strategy, so I'm just sticking to small changes this week. Let's hope this works. 

Onward and upward!

Becky

Adventures In Fitness: Vol. 1

Today I decided that I would be adventurous and try a new fitness center.  There are few things that give me as much pleasure as new fitness centers.  It's the first thing I look for when I check into a hotel and I love visiting other people's gyms.  Anyway, this one was located just one town over so I decided to stop on in and see what all they hype was about.  Well, it was great.  The equipment was up-to-date and maintained, and they had all of that extra stuff that I would order for my home gym if I wasn't too lazy to exercise at home.  I spent some quality time with the treadmill, the weights, the medicine balls.  I was sufficiently worked out when I decided that I would move on to shower time before my stagecoach turned back into a pumpkin.

A little background:  I worked a job for about two years and I maintained a locker there throughout my employment.  I opened it in the morning, at break time, lunchtime, and after work probably 5-6 times daily for about two years.  A couple of months ago I found my old lock and, hooray, the old combo still worked!  I've been using it at the gym once in a while.  

I was stinky, sweaty, and ready for my shower, but WTF???  Why won't my locker open?!?!  Was it 5, 7, 9? No, 9, 5, 7?  Sh#$!!!  It wasn't these particular numbers, but you get the point.  I was starting to get frustrated and embarrassed.  "OMG, are these people looking at me?"  I bet they're wondering why I'm taking so long.  I bet they're wondering why this random black girl is trying so hard to get into this locker that she clearly doesn't have the combination to.  "I know, I'll call home!  Wait, my phone is in the car and car keys are in this damn locker along with my ID to prove that I'm not some shady locker burglar.  FACK!!!"

Still unwilling to admit defeat, I asked a stranger for paper and pencil so that I could write down all of the possible combinations of numbers that I believed could be part of my locker combination.  The seniors were done with swim aerobics and they were trying to help.  Finally, I just went to the front desk and said, "I need help, I can't get into my locker (cause I'm a dummy)."

The front desk people were totes casual about it, so it must happen more often than I thought.  They brought out the jaws of life for lockers and my stuff was free!  Thank goodness.  I don't really know what the moral of the story is.  I could buy a new lock, but I'll probably forget that combo too.  The good news is that I was able to take a break from the kids, get in a nice full body strength training workout, and that I am blessed enough to be able to complain and blog about first world problems such as these.  

As Becky likes to say, Onward and Upward!

Natasha